Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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