I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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