imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
