I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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