i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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