Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
