When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
