I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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