turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
