I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
