garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
