Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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