So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
