she woke up with a sticky ear
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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