so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
