I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
