Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
