Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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