I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
