gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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