Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
