As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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