carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
