Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My vagina just clenched in fear
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
