Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
and you fell through a lawn chair
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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