hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
