You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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