just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I will be naked everywhere
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
