dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
