I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
