I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
