if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think people are normalizing furries
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize