i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
