I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We smell like vodka and hangover
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