it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
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im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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