I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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