Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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