Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
