she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
