Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
