i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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