I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
