hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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