so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize