so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
