worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
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I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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