My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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