I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
