i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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