The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
