He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
