so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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