i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
