I want to stick my p in your. b.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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