party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He did a backflip because drugs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
