garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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