Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
