you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
