I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....