spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child