Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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