Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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