Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hippo gnu deer
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
