The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
