My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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