i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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