Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
