opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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