its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
the liver wants what the liver wants
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
