Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
